The realization of our new life has hit it's first obstacle and that is what to do for spring break. Although we only have little Mason and Jordyn here with us it has been extremely difficult to decide what to do. Besides trying to be ultra conservative with spending, basically everything we looked into involved too much of a hassle for Mason. Cruise-great but what to do in the middle of the ocean if something happens. Vegas-lots of people, have to cart 02 concentrator around. Scottsdale-same thing, plus I don't' think I would want him in any pools quite yet. Mexico-would be great to travel to a resort and have the kids meet us there but the US is warning against all travel into most of those resort cities-cartel violence. Camping-probably the best option, although the most work, and we still have to take the 02 and/or oxygen bottles along. No campfires for us! It's silly though, if this is an obstacle, we have to be one of the luckiest heart kid families on earth. After Mason's near death experience in December, he is doing well and we couldn't ask for more. So maybe this spring break will be spent at home or fairly close by...
I don't think I ever wrote about our first experience in finding out Mason had HLHS. It was a rolller coaster from the start, but then again whose story isn't? I had my 20 week ultra sound in Las Cruces at OBGYN and associates. Dr. Castillo had delivered Jaylen and Dr. Ortiz had been taking care of me prenatally with Jaylen and now with our new baby. As the ultrasound got underway, the tech had a puzzled look on her face shortly after she began taking a look at Mason's heart. And so the story goes, she walked out to bring someone with more experience in. The funny thing is that the cardiologist and high risk ob from UNM happened to being having a clinic there on that very day. ( UNM holds specialty clinics throughout the state on various months and God was certainly looking out for us as He put us all together at that moment in time. ) After confirming, what looked like a serious defect, the cardiologist, Dr. Beth Goens, asked us to go up to Albuquerque the following Tuesday to have a fetal echo done. I had resigned myself to believing that it couldn't be as bad as they were saying, critical aortic stenosis, potential lack of growth of the left ventricle, those words were not meant for our baby. I truly believed that his little heart would grow and show everyone how miraculous God is. Instead, God's plan for Mason was much greater as we would learn in just a few short months.
Ernie flew us up to Albuquerque early that next Tuesday and the flight was uneventful. Our hearts were filled with hope as we arrived for our visit. Ignorance is bliss. Dr. Goens described what she thought Mason's outcome would be once he was born, as well as the possible options we had: termination of pregnancy, compassionate care, palliative surgeries, or heart transplant. The more we spoke with Dr. Goens, Dr. Moore (high risk ob) and their nurse, Pamela, the more we felt they were pushing us to terminate the pregnancy. Today, reflecting on what they were saying, they must have had to be so insistent on a decision because legally terminating the pregnancy would have to be an urgent matter-I had only a matter of 2 weeks to decide if this was the route to take. They kept telling us over and over how difficult the surgeries were and how our lives would be drastically changed; how going through this pregnancy would result in our child having a lifetime of doctors visits, possible surgeries, draining of financial resources and most importantly affect the rest of our happy family. As the reality of the situation hit Ernie and I, we could only look at one another and trade teary eyed glances and our grip on one anothers hand melded us into one.
We left UNM and decided our plans to stay in Albuquerque overnight just didn't make sense. We wanted to be back at home with the kids-at least that would bring us happiness and we wouldn't be left alone with our thoughts. When we hit the run-up area on the runway, Ernie just sat there for what had to be about 5 minutes. The controller came on the radio and asked if Ernie knew where to go! So he snapped out of the fog he was in and rolled out to the runway and we got clearance to take off. Only a few hundred feet off the ground and gust of wind hit us and jolted us to the side. Thus began what would be the worst flight of my life. The beautiful, windless, rolling mountains we flew over just that morning began looking more and more like one huge black pit. The winds started gusting and hitting the plane from the east. It was like those demolition derbies where the cars just hit you relentlessly from the side when you are pinned up against the wall. My heart was racing and my grip on the back of his seat was beginning to make some serious dents! Suddendly the assault came from above and the plane dropped 1000 feet in an instant and I had enough. We were near T or C and I begged Ernie to land there. He checked the weather and found the winds to be gusting around 36 MPH/tailwind-not something you want to try and land in. I was so desperate to land, I kept asking isn't there anything else around here and then I heard, "Don't tell me my engine's gone". What?!! The plane began to sputter and I thought this would be it! I shouted out-declare and emergency-land!! After, shouting out a resounding, "Where???!!!???", Ernie just took control of the situation and began looking over his instruments and turning knobs-sure enough the engine picked right back up! Thank God. We didn't know what had happened but we figured we could make it to Deming and land there. When we started to descend in Deming the sun was right in our eyes. Just as we came closer to the runway, we noticed a large portion of it blocked off! Fortunately, Ernie handled the plane perfectly and set us down past the trucks and chevrons blocking the runway. We decided he would fly on to Silver City and then drive back to pick me up. I got a ride to the local Walmart and waited there for him. He never insisted I get back in the plane, and for that I am so greatful.
In the short time Ernie had been flying I had been able to rid myself of the fear of flying in a small plane. This experience left me wondering if I could ever get back in. Later, he realized he had leaned the fuel mixture too much and thus the engine was starving for fuel. The simple turn of the knob filled the engine with life. Simple decisions have big impacts-Mason was going to get our full attention and we would be choosing life, no matter how difficult it would get. We knew God would take care of us all. It, too, was a simple decision to make.
